I have to instill in myself what my parents could not—I have to know that I’m safe, no matter who is in or out of my life.
I reasoned that in an unsafe world, expressing pain would expose a vulnerable weakness that others could exploit. It seemed wiser to keep it all to myself.
Animal totems are rarely what you expect. They’re usually a bit quirky, they show up randomly, and they may or may not be an animal you'd want to encounter.
There are times when I’ve felt like porn was the third party in the relationship. Sometimes it served as the backdrop for what he and I were doing on the main stage. Other times, it was more like a mistress that he felt like he needed to conceal.
I realized that setting boundaries and having a strong stance is only half the equation. It will get you to a place of neutrality. But what deserves an authentic, soul-fired yes? What do you want now that you've made some space?
The Four of Cups involves some trust and faith in timing—not our own, but the kind we leave up to the Universe.
Historically, I've used this time as a mid-year review, a little assessment of where I've been, where I'm heading, and what might need adjusting. I created a couple of Tarot spreads with that in mind.
Tree limbs reach over the fence, swaying, beckoning, asking why I’m over here on the other side of a man-made barrier. Not woman-made. A woman would not make a defense against all that is natural and wild. She sees herself in the tangled vines and gnarled roots— meeting resistance, growing around it anyway. The trees… Continue reading Meeting Resistance
I remember the seething, white-hot rage I felt inside. I wanted to burn shit down or blow it up and leave a trail of ashes behind me. I had finally connected the dots between a father who was emotionally absent and impossible to please and the men I had attracted into my life. Guess what?… Continue reading Healing the Father Wound: My Journey from Rage to Reconciliation
“How do you know when you’ve passed through a threshold on your spiritual path?” I asked him, thinking that he might have a huge, profound, soul-stirring kind of response. He never has answers, of course. He just asks questions until I come up with the answers on my own. I know this, because it’s what… Continue reading Spirituality Without Labels